Children’s Rights Line: Children who call say they are afraid to return home and ask for their safety

According to the head of the Children’s Rights Line, Jolanta Griškonienė, we receive at least several appeals from children per month, in which they express their reluctance to return home.

“Although the situation of each child is individual and unique, the reluctance to live at home or the fear of returning home is evidence of a child’s cry for help. We notice trends that such children’s experiences become more apparent during adolescence, when they are faced with an inner desire to try new things, gain more freedom and test certain limits, but at this stage they also experience a lot of confusion and anxiety, so it is especially important for children to find their own empathy, understanding and support in the circle of closest people. Unfortunately, we see that some children feel like strangers in their homes, lacking the love of their relatives, missing simple honest conversations and the opportunity to share their difficulties,” says the child rights defender.

Psychological violence is moving from the home environment to the electronic space

According to the head of the Child Rights Line, the most common reasons why children avoid returning to their homes include their strained relationships within the family. Most children recognize that cursing, raised tone, and verbal abuse are not normal communication, so when seeking help, they consciously state that they are experiencing psychological violence at home.

“Normally, disagreements at home between children and parents arise over household matters, academic achievements, ways of spending free time, etc. However, we observe more and more frequent cases when psychological violence moves from the home environment to the electronic space, where it is not the children themselves, but their parents who are actively involved. For example, while the child is at school, parents write hurtful messages to him, express threats about what will await him when he returns home. Or the parents start writing slanderous messages to their child’s friends, classmates, teachers – so the next day the child has to apologize or justify to other people for the behavior of their relatives”, says J. Griškonienė.

Children tend to protect their parents even in the face of physical abuse

J. Griškonienė states that even more complex situations heard by defenders of children’s rights when counseling children at the call center are physical violence experienced at home. It happens that in such cases, the children themselves express their desire to live in a different environment for at least a while – with relatives, friends, or even in a care institution – but when they ask for help, they fear the reaction of their parents and do not want to hurt them.

“Even in cases of physical violence, children tend to protect their parents. Before asking for real help to keep them safe, children often worry “what will happen to my parents?”. We always emphasize to the children that when reacting, we first aim to protect them and find ways to help all family members. Sometimes the need to temporarily ensure the child’s safety in the homes of his relatives or family friends motivates parents to accept help and create positive changes that would allow the child to return to a changed and safe environment,” says J. Griškonienė.

Defenders of children’s rights increasingly have to receive calls from children in real time, when they call to inform that they are walking around their house, but are afraid to return to it, so they ask to take care of their safety here and now.

“Children’s calls are very sensitive, especially when the other end of the line hears that the child is crying, expresses a specific fear of what might be waiting for him at home, or even mentions a desire to hurt himself. Then we react quickly – we try to make the child calm down at least a little during the conversation and feel that it is safe for him to talk and to trust the other person with important information that would allow him and his family to be helped quickly,” says J. Griškonienė.

Children’s appeals are growing: in a year and a half – from dozens to hundreds

The Child Rights Line, which has been operating for a year and a half, has already received more than 13,000 calls. people’s appeals. Although anyone who is actively involved in the child’s life can call and write here, special attention is paid to the calls and messages of the children themselves.

According to available statistical data, in the first quarter of this year alone, compared to last year, about three times more inquiries from children were received. Most of them – about 80 percent. – proves to be a possible violation of the rights of the child.

“We greatly appreciate every call, letter or text message received from a child, because often such appeals begin with the words “I have no one to talk to and consult with anymore”. In such cases, it is especially important to show the child that there are people for whom he and the challenges he experiences are important, to say that a solution can be found for every difficulty, and if we see that the child’s immediate environment needs help, we look for ways to contact the family, talk and motivate to accept help”, says J. Griškonienė.

In case of questions, we invite people to consult with child rights defenders by calling toll-free tel. 8 800 10 800, you can also write a message in the chat box on the website vaikoteises.lrv.lt. A child’s rights violation can be reported at the nearest child rights protection department, by filling out a form on the Service’s website or by calling the Emergency Services contact number 112.