A teenager killed himself: his mother is convinced that the system killed him – Respublika.lt

A mother who lost her son spoke about the painful situation in the family on the social network, asking if the youth of Lithuania are really the happiest in the world? Joana’s son passed away before he turned seventeen – his birthday was supposed to be a month later.

Speaking about her son, the woman wrote that he had a deep, philosophical mindset: “Also, he was a calm, polite, tidy guy, he spent most of his time at home after school, saying: ‘Home is the best for me.’ Because he felt safe and happy at home.” . He didn’t smoke, didn’t use alcohol or drugs, and didn’t suffer from depression. He was a young man with an artistic, sensitive soul – this is what the philosopher Schopenhauer describes as a “man of great spirit”.

The woman says directly – her son was crushed by the Lithuanian education system: “How banal – I have been working all my life and creating a better education for children, and I was not able to protect my child from it.”

He attended the prestigious Vilnius school

“My child couldn’t stand the bullying at school. There is a lot of talk about mobbing in the health care system, in work relationships, but about the fact that our children are being bullied by teachers – we keep quiet and accept it. Maybe because we experienced it ourselves at school. And maybe because, as the son said: “Mom, don’t call and write this to the teacher. You still won’t change anything, you’ll only make it worse.” There were at least three people in the gymnasium who systematically used mobbing against my son and other children. Some of them put up with it, they don’t pay attention. He couldn’t and didn’t want to suffer anymore”, – he shared his experience a woman

She says that mobbing did not only take place in the gymnasium: “We encountered the disgusting behavior of some teachers and the school administration from the sixth grade, when my son attended one of the famous schools in Vilnius. Then we both fought – he, as he knew, for himself, I – for him. My son also experienced bullying from teachers in older classes. Of course, not all teachers are like that. But one or two are enough and the consequences can be irreversible.

I don’t know how to stop it yet, but we have to do it for the sake of other children. I think my son is not the only child like that in Lithuania, and we have to wonder if the youth of Lithuania are really the happiest in the world?”

From the ministry – just a short condolence

This post has been shared by thousands of people. After it began to spread in the social space, the Ministry of Education, Science and Sports confirmed that such an event really happened. Vice-Minister Ramūnas Skaudžius, who was still holding his position at the time, only briefly commented on the situation. “It’s a terrible shock to the whole community. The founder of the school and the administration must find out what was overlooked in the school, what needs to be changed in that community. This is a reminder of the duty of every adult member of the educational community to notice the child and his emotions,” said R. Skaudžius.

The story shocked many people. One teacher shared her experience that she asked her followers on the social network what was the scariest thing they had experienced at school. The woman does not hide that the answers received are disappointing. Most of them contain memories of bullying, humiliation, and violence.

“Strangling with my own scarf on the bus. The teacher sat nearby and ignored everything,” reads one answer. In another: “my classmates have told me more than once to kill myself. Oh, so that they know what is going on in my life.”

Another person said that while he was studying at school, a seventh grader killed herself in the school toilet. “Encouragement to commit suicide in the prestigious Vilnius high school”, “Bullying by the whole class, even the teacher and teachers humiliate me in front of the whole class”, “Humiliation from the teachers in front of the whole class. Until now, it’s still hard to forget,” young people shared such and similar stories.

Accused of drug use

A mother who recently lost her son once again appealed to the public, or rather to all parents whose children have experienced something similar at school. She was prompted to do this by a school assembly where her son was accused of drug use.

“After my son’s death, the school where he studied took steps to protect its reputation. According to the “paper”, the school administration called a preventive meeting of the parents of school students. They invited a psychologist from the municipality’s Public Health Office, who was supposed to talk about the symptoms of anxiety and depression, crisis management. The said psychologist told the meeting that my son was using drugs. everyone knew about it – the students, the teachers and even us, the parents!!! And they added that we knew, but we didn’t do anything, which would be completely absurd! They said it without any evidence or facts,” shared mother Joana on the social network.

She is surprised by the following version presented to the school community: “But the obvious fact is that the son, who had not missed a single lesson in two years of high school without a valid reason, left the school on that fateful day with tears in his eyes after the second lesson, having received a double in mathematics. We never saw him alive again. Who and what should have been said or done to him at school to make him make the fateful decision?

A child who always went home after school, who spent all evenings and weekends at home, did not roam the streets, whose account clearly showed expenses in the gymnasium canteen and the nearby store, suddenly turned into a drug addict. We invited the municipal psychologist to a meeting with the city mayor so that she would tell us face to face what she had boldly said about our son at the school’s parent meeting. She ignored the invitation and did not appear at the meeting.”

Therefore, the mother assures that she is not going to give up. He is convinced that children can be protected, but the situation in the country must change. Therefore, she created an anonymous survey, which she asks parents whose children experience bullying from educators to fill out. She says she intends to approach the ministry after gathering enough information.