The girl told about the fact that both she and other young people do not receive adequate psychological help, and that school administrations and teachers are only focused on high academic achievements, at the VU KF competition “Communicate: the (challenge) of the caller”, and later shared her experience with LRT on the radio show.
Although Akvilė received a lot of messages of support, the schoolgirl’s confessions angered her own school, the Radviliškis Lizdeika Gymnasium, quite a bit – there were opinions that the girl brought shame to the gymnasium, teachers commented on how uneducated she was.
Such a reaction from the high school outraged Aquilė’s mother Erika, who is convinced that it is simply necessary to publicize such situations. According to her, after this behavior of the school staff, the whole family broke down, the schoolgirl needed medical help.
Raised often ignored issues
“When I ask my peers at school (how they feel, – Auth. past), positive, positive answers – barely one other. But it’s probably not surprising, is it? This is the problem with educational institutions these days – everyone cares that I pass that math exam, cares that I know the structure of a plant cell, but no one cares and no one can say the far from rhetorical question “how do you feel?”, my speech a while ago Aquilė started in the final stage of the competition.
She admitted that feelings such as anxiety or tension have already become her daily companions, but this problem does not seem to exist at school – they try to gloss over it except with various leaflets about the damage caused by stress to learning.
“I am 17 years old. I am a hardworking, responsible and active student. In the eyes of others, it is really successful. Paradoxically, such feelings as anxiety, fear, tension, stress have become a natural state for me that I live with every day, and when I sit down at school, these feelings hit me even harder. And I wonder: should this be the normal feeling of my everyday life? (…)
And there you are, right in front of you, on a bulletin board, shining universal advice, like a life-changing talisman – a leaflet in large letters “How to manage stress”. This is nowadays the greatest help and concern for my psychological state described in the pamphlet? And that’s all?” asked the eleventh grader.
Aquile shared her thoughts that every morning when she goes to school, she keeps hoping that this day will be better, but it doesn’t happen.
“Maybe today will be better?” Maybe today your teacher won’t tell you that if you don’t know English, you’ll be a blonde next to the container? As I walk, I repeat to myself: I am more than a student, I am more than a grade, I am more than a bad answer to a question asked by the teacher. (…)
I’m human, I may not be good at math, but I can have an A in theater class. I may not know the laws of physics, but I can comfort someone who is in pain, and I can do many other things successfully and with pleasure, but other stereotypes reign in society,” the schoolgirl taught.
In her speech, Aquilė emphasized that students must be taught to understand their feelings, recognize and accept them.
“A student’s psychological health is a compass that guides him on his academic journey – without it, a student can get lost,” she emphasized.
Got a kick out of his own school
Akvilė also came to the LRT radio show “10–12” to discuss the emotional health of schoolchildren in more detail. Here she was even more open – she told more about the health problems that had already overwhelmed her due to enormous stress.
“Being in the eleventh grade, I feel very tired, exhausted, unheard and misunderstood. Especially in today’s context, last week was so difficult in those midterms that I remember as I was walking down the stairs to school, my neighbor stopped me and asked how I was feeling. I say: I feel dead inside”, said Akvilė, admitting that the situation was further worsened by intermediate examinations, which make students feel very unstable.
The eleventh-grader opened up that psychological matters are not taken seriously at her own school, Radviliškis Lizdeika Gymnasium, although, according to her, psychological health is “the basis of everything”.
“I often get comments from adults as well, how they would like to go back to school and change places with me. And I think – you really wouldn’t want to. (…) I feel like that reality show “Survival” at school, you really don’t want to go back to school these days. (…)
There are teachers whose lesson starts with “how do you feel”. We tell how we feel, the teacher laughs and the lesson begins. That’s the concern. It seems, I don’t know in what place it seems funny that you are tired and that you can’t do something,” said Aquilė.
She also admitted that she herself is waiting to see a psychologist because she had a panic attack before the math midterm.
But after the appearance of this show, another serious blow awaited the girls. As a portal lrytas.lt said Aquilė’s mother Erika, as soon as she came to school, something suddenly changed.
“The interview was given on Monday, on Tuesday she just received piercing looks, whispers from both students and teachers. I could see that her mood had changed dramatically from the elated one she had been on Monday to the worse. She says: Mom, something is going to be wrong,” Erika recalled.
In order to prevent the events from happening, the woman decided to call the teacher of Aquilė’s class. Since she is a Lithuanian language teacher, she even helped the eleventh grader prepare for the competition, knew what she was going to talk about. However, after the interview, Aquilė saw a change in her teacher’s perspective as well.
The first day it was not possible to call, but the next day the mother and the teacher managed to talk.
“On Wednesday, Aquile returned from school and her emotional state was completely tragic. He said: Mom, I feel like a leper that everyone stares at. A few teachers retorted, and it was also said, “Aquila, you know, calm down, because nobody really cares.”
That depressing mood grew even more, our conversation with the teacher was also heard by Aquile, because the child expected that there was some kind of misunderstanding. But this conversation with the teacher turned in such a way that it shocked me, it broke Aquile for good, and the man who heard the conversation was also in shock.
My first question was: Educator, tell me what changed from the Aquila public speaking competition to that interview? Because in practice it was exactly the same thing. She tells me: in the public speaking competition, Aquilė spoke abstractly about all the students, and in the interview – about the school.
I say: teacher, you must be joking – after all, you even told Aquila herself before she started writing her speech that she should write through her own prism! Why do you say different now? After all, it is obvious that she is talking about herself there,” Erika taught.
However, the teacher’s response ultimately left the family speechless.
“She tells me: I have never experienced such a shame as your daughter did – she is ill-mannered, and since this interview was discussed in the school community, it was said that Aquile brought down the name of the school,” said the mother of the eleventh-grader.
According to Erika, she herself became angry, and her daughter completely broke down. Unable to call the director, with whom she had been in contact until now, the woman wrote a post on Facebook. Later, Erika was also contacted by the mayor of Radviliškis.
Due to the stress, Aquile had to visit the doctors – she had a panic attack at night.
“We also received word that during certain lessons at school this week, teachers discussed Aquile’s interview and she was presented as an example of a bad student,” Erika added.
Will try to bring all sides to the table
Portal lrytas.lt also addressed the head of Radviliškis Lizdeika Gymnasium Ina Bajarauskaitė with a comment. She indicated that she would comment on the situation only after the holidays. When asked to do that at least briefly on Friday, the director hung up the phone.
Laisvūnas Vaičiūnas, head of the Education and Sports Department of Radviliškis district municipality, portal lrytas.lt informed that the municipality is in contact with both the school and Akvilė’s family – now they are looking for ways to solve the problem.
“We also spoke with the head of the school, we are also talking with the mayor, we are thinking about what actions need to be taken. We decided that it would be after Easter.
First of all, we believe that an open conversation involving the girl, the mother, and the administration would be very helpful. At first, maybe so”, explained L. Vaičiūnas.
The head of the education department assured that so far he has not heard any complaints about the poor emotional state of the students or the bad microclimate in the Lizdeika gymnasium.
“The student participates in a very nice high school theater troupe, they have staged more than one performance, and I really could never have thought that she could feel this way. I think it would be quite rational to find out who is here and how it is in such a narrow circle”, explained L. Vaičiūnas.
Specialists notice gloomy trends
Commenting on the emotional health of schoolchildren, Marija Janulionienė, head of the Mental Health Clinic of the Central Polyclinic, told the portal lrytas.lt in the transmitted answer, he said that every year the clinic receives a certain percentage of students, especially those with extremely high grades, who are under stress due to various difficulties, exams or admission to higher schools.
“Young people put too much of a burden on themselves – they want to live up to the expectations of teachers, parents and the whole family. In my practice, I had to treat several schoolchildren who suffered from mental disorders due to excessive pressure from the environment and the “weight” of the demands placed on themselves.
It is not uncommon for well-educated young people to enroll in higher education institutions abroad, but after leaving to study abroad, they are unable to adapt, successfully adapt to the new environment and experience great stress, leading to serious mental ailments.
Both schoolchildren and their parents and teachers should note that although science is important, there is nothing more important than health,” explained M. Janulionienė.
For her part, Goda Levinskaitė, a psychologist at “Vaikai lijna” emphasized that many components contribute to emotional health, including relationships with friends, family, lifestyle habits, rest and sleep regime.
And when another source of stress appears, such as midterms or exams, those who already struggle with stress can experience very unpleasant sensations indeed.
“A lot of children call the “Children’s Line” and talk about their emotional health, and the main thing is relationships with friends, parents, they always have certain challenges, and when another event causes stress in that context, it may escalate certain things. But it’s good that young people are talking about it and looking for help”, remarked G. Levinskaitė.
True, according to the psychologist, more frequent referrals to specialists due to learning difficulties are currently not observed, but they are likely always there.
“Although topics about school always exist, I would think that since they usually apply for relationships with parents, it also means that one of the important details in communication is conversations about science,” the specialist thought.
G. Levinskaitė pointed out that schools do not always provide psychological help to students – according to her, some educational institutions do not have psychologists at all.
“That is, if there is no psychologist in the school, especially in the periphery, the child will certainly not receive that help, and if there is one psychologist in a large school with 1,000 students, there is certainly a lack of personnel who can work with the students,” the interviewer emphasized.
G. Levinskaitė emphasized that there is no single magic recipe for dealing with psychological experiences, but urged not to be afraid to contact specialists if necessary.
The psychologist also advises students not to forget their favorite activities, to spend time with friends, music, books, physical activity or just a walk in the fresh air.
Tags: teachers responses left speechless
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